I’ve recently read an article from Cosmopolitan and felt that it was worth sharing. This post also goes out to my dearest friends who are struggling, hurting, feeling low self-esteem, searching for hopes, trying to stand up again and also for those lost, numb and wandering hearts out there. Hope this will boost your confidence and self-esteem as much as I felt the reason this is worth sharing.

Your 20s are a rich opportunity for fun and freedom when u can focus on your career and travel and explore possibilities before selecting a partner and putting down roots. But that might not sound like cold comfort when you’re hurting between boyfriends/girlfriends or hurting from a major relationship break-up. At times like this it can be tempting to withdraw from the world. A mental health advocate once said that the more we withdraw, the further you cement your status as a long term single, with few dating prospects, fading self-esteem and if you’re not careful, a sad and lonely state of mind. As women are most vulnerable between the age 16-20 years old, this should not cause them to waste their single years away because that is the time to establish who you are and what you want from life, while developing potential and learn coping skills. Your 20s are the time for fulfilling yourself. Only then you can hope to recognise and attract the right person for a healthy relationship and be able to maintain it.

When a relationship fails and disillusionment sets in, your confidence can hit crisis mode, making you doubt you’ll ever find someone right. And it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, as you start mistaking even genuine oases in the love desert for mirages. As for some, they withdraw to their comfort zone, preferring to stay in there, not coming out neither letting anyone in.

SURVIVAL TIPS:

When u end a relationship, take time to grieve and heal or you will risk making the same mistakes or going on the rebound.

Don’t get lost in negativity and self-pity – beware of generalising, catastrophising, only seeing the negative sides and jumping into conclusions. An author once said, “You can only change yourself because no one else is expected to change to meet your emotional needs.”

Tune in to positivity because consciously being positive keeps you hopeful and raises the chances of successful outcome in relationships. Optimism is closely related to self-esteem and is mostly learnt. After all, there’s nothing more attractive than a positive energy.

My Say:

“Learn to have fun on your own and the rest will follow.”

“Even if things do not turn out the way you want it to be, it’s not the end of the world. Look around you, you’ve got family and friends and all those that love and care about you. Things will eventually fall into place again and you shall see the sunshine again.”

Love ya all to bits. Yes. Each and everyone of you. Xoxo (=

Heaps of hugz and kisses,

`me